This has been a crazy week. I woke up Sunday morning and was feeling great. I went in to get dressed for church when all of a sudden, the room began to spin. I laid down to rest but the spinning continued. I slept for about 4 more hours but when I awoke, the room was still spinning, even as I laid in bed. After checking my notebook for specific symptoms, Amity called Kaiser. After speaking with the nurse, I went to the emergency room. The doctor ordered a CAT scan, blood work, and gave me an IV. In the end, the outcome was that I had vertigo. I was given medication through the IV to control the vertigo and got to go home.I am still experiencing some vertigo, but it is not constant like it was on Sunday.
Tuesday I went for my normal before chemo labs. As the nurse flushed the port, she could not get the blood to flow back after the flush. I have had similar problems before and they have had to use heparin to get the flow going. However, heparin was not working, The port was clogged. Another medication was put in the line. It has to sit for a half hour before they can try to access the port again. By now it was time to see my oncologist so I saw her while waiting the half hour. She decided that my counts were high enough on Sunday to complete my chemo on Wednesday. I went back to the infusion lab to check the port. There was still no flow. It takes 2 hours for the medication to completely go through the system before anything else can be done. So I had to sit in the lab for another hour and a half. After that time, they were going to try another dose of the medicine. Luckily I had remembered to grab my Kindle! Now on a normal Tuesday before chemo, I go to the infusion lab for blood work and my oncologist appointment is 2 hours later. During that break, I go get some breakfast. So I had not eaten at all and had this vial hanging from my port so I was stuck. When the 2 hours had passed, the nurse came in again and there was still no blood flow. she prepared the medication to try again. When she began to disconnect the vial to put on the new one, all of a sudden the vial filled with blood! So I didn't have to have the second medication. But the 2 1/2 hours I usually spend at Kaiser had turned into 5 hours. At least I didn't have to have any more blood drawn!
Yesterday I went for my treatment. The nurse flushed the line and the blood flowed so obviously everything the day before had worked. I asked if the clogging was normal or if it was because I have the history of blood clots. She assured me that many people have their port clogged at least once during the course of treatment. That was a big relief. And now I have passed the halfway mark for treatment. I am done with 7/12 of my treatments!
Last night I opened Amity and Jordan's rock. They reminded me of how much they love me and that together we are going to beat this! I am so thankful for all of my children and grandchildren and the love and support they always show me.
Last week was a great week. I got to go to a coworkers retirement party on Tuesday and saw so many of my Ramona family. I felt so much encouragement from all of them. I miss working with them and it felt great to be with them.
On Friday, Amity, Jordan, and I kept Ella and Hannah. Ella's friends always get together the day after they get out of school for a bbq at the park and a water balloon fight. We filled 100 water balloons (as did all the other kids that came) and then headed over to the park. It was a blast! then that evening, Amity, Angie, Randi, Ella, Hannah and I enjoyed a girl's night out at the movies. We went to see Madagascar 3 and enjoyed each other's company.
I have spent much of the last week planning with my sisters for our mom's memorial on the 30th. We have been to see our dad and he is trying to get back into his regular activities. Yesterday was Mom's birthday. She would have been 80. It was a difficult day but we did survive. All of us have received many phone calls from family and friends offering help. Many of my nieces and nephews are coming to California for the memorial and I look forward to seeing all of them. I have enjoyed getting to know them as adults and parents. Sharing our memories will be bittersweet, I'm sure. The one thing I am sure of is that I am lucky enough to have a very large extended family that loves each other. My parents have 26 grandchildren, 64 great grandchildren and 3 great great grandchildren. When we do get together (which isn't nearly often enough anymore as we are spread out across the country), it is like we have never been apart. I am so blessed to be a part of the Parkins family. I know my mom was met by her parents and our son along with all of the other family members that have gone before her. It is comforting to know that we will all see each other again when our time comes.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
June 12, 2012
The last few weeks have been rough. My side effects have been a little worse but I really believe it is a combo of the chemo and the stress of my mom. The lack of sleep probably hasn't helped, either.
Most of this blog will be about my mom. She would have been 80 years old the 20th of this month. It has been hard to make the decisions we have had to make but honoring her wishes made it a little easier. The hospice we placed her in on Friday was beautiful and very peaceful. The staff was excellent. They gave my mom a spa day on Saturday. Each room had a private courtyard outside. My mom's courtyard had a wind chime and a humming bird feeder. For those who don't know, those were 2 of my mom's favorite things in her own garden.
I have gained great strength from all of my friends who have posted that they have had to make these same decisions, some of them 10-20 years ago. That has helped me to realize that I have been lucky to have my mom for 60 years. I have been remembering all the fun times we had as children, living on Gundry and how our mom used to play with us out on the front lawn during the summer. We always wore a dress when traveling because you never knew what adventure we might come upon to explore. I have probably seen more missions than most people. We always participated in the wheels parade at Longfellow. Mom was my Bluebird leader and always taught us to have fun. I attribute my love of life to that. I can't imagine the challenge of raising 5 daughters.
My dad is holding up pretty well. I have been married 36 years and can't imagine life without Chuck so i really can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose your spouse of 61 years. I have to say, in the hospital, we saw the tenderness between our parents. They have been an excellent example to my sisters and I of what it takes to stay married. Between all of us, we have over 150 years of marriage! That's a lot in this time!
Our entire family is grateful for all the love and support we have received over the last week and a half. I am truly grateful for my sisters and the time we have been able to spend together during this time. It has helped to be able to talk about our memories and fell each other's love an support. I say all the time in my cancer blogs that i have the best, most supportive family. I am truly blessed to be a part of the Parkins family.
My sisters had planned a surprise party for my mom's birthday on June 30th. We will now celebrate her life in a different way on that day. We had ordered a Mother's ring for her and were able to present it to her in the hospital. The staff was gracious enough to turn their backs on more than 2 people in the room and cell phones in the room so we were able to do it all together and even get some pictures. Dad has now had the ring sized and will wear it. We are so grateful that we have our dad and that we can share more time with him. I look forward to seeing many of my nieces and nephews and all of my sisters again at the end of the month.
Most of this blog will be about my mom. She would have been 80 years old the 20th of this month. It has been hard to make the decisions we have had to make but honoring her wishes made it a little easier. The hospice we placed her in on Friday was beautiful and very peaceful. The staff was excellent. They gave my mom a spa day on Saturday. Each room had a private courtyard outside. My mom's courtyard had a wind chime and a humming bird feeder. For those who don't know, those were 2 of my mom's favorite things in her own garden.
I have gained great strength from all of my friends who have posted that they have had to make these same decisions, some of them 10-20 years ago. That has helped me to realize that I have been lucky to have my mom for 60 years. I have been remembering all the fun times we had as children, living on Gundry and how our mom used to play with us out on the front lawn during the summer. We always wore a dress when traveling because you never knew what adventure we might come upon to explore. I have probably seen more missions than most people. We always participated in the wheels parade at Longfellow. Mom was my Bluebird leader and always taught us to have fun. I attribute my love of life to that. I can't imagine the challenge of raising 5 daughters.
My dad is holding up pretty well. I have been married 36 years and can't imagine life without Chuck so i really can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose your spouse of 61 years. I have to say, in the hospital, we saw the tenderness between our parents. They have been an excellent example to my sisters and I of what it takes to stay married. Between all of us, we have over 150 years of marriage! That's a lot in this time!
Our entire family is grateful for all the love and support we have received over the last week and a half. I am truly grateful for my sisters and the time we have been able to spend together during this time. It has helped to be able to talk about our memories and fell each other's love an support. I say all the time in my cancer blogs that i have the best, most supportive family. I am truly blessed to be a part of the Parkins family.
My sisters had planned a surprise party for my mom's birthday on June 30th. We will now celebrate her life in a different way on that day. We had ordered a Mother's ring for her and were able to present it to her in the hospital. The staff was gracious enough to turn their backs on more than 2 people in the room and cell phones in the room so we were able to do it all together and even get some pictures. Dad has now had the ring sized and will wear it. We are so grateful that we have our dad and that we can share more time with him. I look forward to seeing many of my nieces and nephews and all of my sisters again at the end of the month.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
I made the half way mark!mm Yeah! Now I am just hoping that the lower dosage allows me to go every 2 weeks instead of always having to wait another week. I should have been done August 1 but now my last chemo (if I stay on the 2 week schedule) is August 29. Then i still have to give it another month to get my immune system back up to where I can be around students. But so far I have no side effects this time. I'm sure they will come but so far so good.
My rock this week was from Bailey (my oldest granddaughter for those of you who don't know). She reminded me that no matter how bad it is, it will get better. Sometimes kids just say the right things! I really have the BEST grandkids on earth!
Being on disability really sucks! It seems like everything that can go wrong and costs money is happening right now. I just took my car in for an oil change and because the service air bag light is on. They are showing my warranty has expired 500 miles ago. I know that's not right since we just bought the car in September but it took forever just to get it checked in.Then of course, there are services needed that aren't covered under warranty for a total of $850! It doesn't help that I really don't like this dealer and I'm not totally happy with the car. I am really thinking I want to trade it in and I would even get a smaller car. With the price of gas, and not needing the bigger car all the time, I think I might be happier. We could just rent a big car when we need it.
Well, Im have a busy day ahead of me. I am meeting all of my sisters at the hospital to celebrate Mom's birthday and Father's Day before one sister leaves this afternoon. I will miss having all my sisters here. Then Ella has a class play tonight and Hannah graduates from preschool tonight. A hectic day and I will probably miss my nap but the grandkids grow up so fast! m It seems like they are growing faster than my own kids did. If only there was a way to keep them little longer.
Thanks to all of you who have been adding my mom to your prayer list. She is showing improvement every day but she is still in ICU. The doctor thinks dialysis may just be a temporary thing and they have stabilized her heart rate. Those are the 2 biggest problems at this point. So the prayers are definitely helping!
My rock this week was from Bailey (my oldest granddaughter for those of you who don't know). She reminded me that no matter how bad it is, it will get better. Sometimes kids just say the right things! I really have the BEST grandkids on earth!
Being on disability really sucks! It seems like everything that can go wrong and costs money is happening right now. I just took my car in for an oil change and because the service air bag light is on. They are showing my warranty has expired 500 miles ago. I know that's not right since we just bought the car in September but it took forever just to get it checked in.Then of course, there are services needed that aren't covered under warranty for a total of $850! It doesn't help that I really don't like this dealer and I'm not totally happy with the car. I am really thinking I want to trade it in and I would even get a smaller car. With the price of gas, and not needing the bigger car all the time, I think I might be happier. We could just rent a big car when we need it.
Well, Im have a busy day ahead of me. I am meeting all of my sisters at the hospital to celebrate Mom's birthday and Father's Day before one sister leaves this afternoon. I will miss having all my sisters here. Then Ella has a class play tonight and Hannah graduates from preschool tonight. A hectic day and I will probably miss my nap but the grandkids grow up so fast! m It seems like they are growing faster than my own kids did. If only there was a way to keep them little longer.
Thanks to all of you who have been adding my mom to your prayer list. She is showing improvement every day but she is still in ICU. The doctor thinks dialysis may just be a temporary thing and they have stabilized her heart rate. Those are the 2 biggest problems at this point. So the prayers are definitely helping!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
June 5, 2012
I have had several people email me because I haven't blogged so I thought I better get busy and do a post. I didn't blog last week because my labs were not good last week and couldn't get chemotherapy. I was really down for a few days. Then on Friday night, I got a call about 11:00 that my mom was in ICU and that they were going to put her on a breathing tube. I have been at the hospital every day in Pomona.
First of all, my labs today were good and I will be at my halfway mark when I do chemo tomorrow! Yeah! I am really excited about that. I feel like it has been a long time coming since I should have been at this point several weeks ago.
My biggest concern has been my mom.She has acute renal failure. They have been able to take her off the ventilator and her lab numbers have come back better every day. She sleeps a lot but we do see improvement every day. She is receiving dialysis but the doctor is hoping that it will be temporary. Today she got to eat for the first time. She didn't eat much but she is drinking Ensure. It's also been nice because all of my sisters have been there. I always like spending time with them.
Well, I know this is a short post but I am exhausted from my day. Thanks for all your continued prayers and good thoughts for my recovery.
First of all, my labs today were good and I will be at my halfway mark when I do chemo tomorrow! Yeah! I am really excited about that. I feel like it has been a long time coming since I should have been at this point several weeks ago.
My biggest concern has been my mom.She has acute renal failure. They have been able to take her off the ventilator and her lab numbers have come back better every day. She sleeps a lot but we do see improvement every day. She is receiving dialysis but the doctor is hoping that it will be temporary. Today she got to eat for the first time. She didn't eat much but she is drinking Ensure. It's also been nice because all of my sisters have been there. I always like spending time with them.
Well, I know this is a short post but I am exhausted from my day. Thanks for all your continued prayers and good thoughts for my recovery.
Friday, May 18, 2012
May 18, 2012
First of all, can I just say that I really like my oncologist. I asked her on Tuesday what would happen if I just quit doing chemotherapy. Her answer? "That would not be smart." Then she proceeded to remind me what a great support system I have. She's met Chuck, Angie, Jordan, and Ella. But I just needed to hear that this is a necessary part of my recovery. I was just frustrated with how many times I've had to postpone treatment.
I did have chemo on Wednesday and the doctor has deleted one of the meds that UCLA does not use in their treatment. Hopefully it will make a difference in my white count. My white count was good but my red count is low. If it drops to 8 I will need to have another transfusion. I know that transfusions are much safer than they were even 10 years ago but I really don't like needing to get blood. My protein level stayed the same, so at least it didn't drop any further. Angie found a site that listed the most efficient proteins so I used that to try to help build my protein levels.
My rock this week was from Josh & Angie. Josh wrote a quote by Vincent Peale about how it is never a good time to give up. Angie reminded me that we need rain to have rainbows. The messages on the rocks really do encourage me.So do all the kind messages, cards, phone calls and emails I receive. My doctor is right. I do have a great support system!
I did have chemo on Wednesday and the doctor has deleted one of the meds that UCLA does not use in their treatment. Hopefully it will make a difference in my white count. My white count was good but my red count is low. If it drops to 8 I will need to have another transfusion. I know that transfusions are much safer than they were even 10 years ago but I really don't like needing to get blood. My protein level stayed the same, so at least it didn't drop any further. Angie found a site that listed the most efficient proteins so I used that to try to help build my protein levels.
My rock this week was from Josh & Angie. Josh wrote a quote by Vincent Peale about how it is never a good time to give up. Angie reminded me that we need rain to have rainbows. The messages on the rocks really do encourage me.So do all the kind messages, cards, phone calls and emails I receive. My doctor is right. I do have a great support system!
Monday, May 14, 2012
May 14, 2012
This has been a roller coaster week for me. First, I was sure my counts were high enough to do my chemo round. I had not been feeling that fatigued and I had no fever. But when I went for lab tests, the counts were too low. I was extremely disappointed. My last round should have been August 1 and now we are up to August 22. There are times it leels it is never going to end.
Next, my mom had to go to a rehab hospital. She fell for the 2nd time in a month so that are giving her therapy to strengthen her body so that, hopefully, she will be able to walk without a walker.The frustrating part is that I can't go see her and I had tried calling her 3 or more times a day and couldn't get her. I finally found out yesterday that I was calling the wrong number! I had the last number wrong. So I did get to have a great conversation with her for Mother's Day.
Now for some of the better things that have happened. Chuck has been home since Thursday night and goes back to work tomorrow morning. Usually when he's home it is just for a day or 2 and there are so many people to see that I always feel like we don't get a lot of time for just the 2 of us. Well, this time we have. It's been wonderful to have him here. He went to Ella's soccer game with me, church with me, and then we spent some quality time seeing his mom for Mother's Day. His sister, 2 brother-in-laws, and our niece and nephew that just moved back from Hawaii were also there. Also, Josh, Angie and the girls came over. And of course we got to spend time with Jordan, Amity, and Randi. I got sweet phone conversations with Bailey, Cole, and Lindsay. They only have 9 days left of school and are looking forward to coming for a visit. I, too, am looking forward to that. I will truly miss having them for the whole summer like I usually do but a visit will be the next best thing!
I also got some sweet cards from my class, both get well and Teacher Appreciation. It helps to know that they really miss me like I miss them. Their little messages and emails and phone calls do a lot for my spirit. The fact that they care makes me feel like I've done something right with them. That helps when I am feeling like I let them down by being gone. I have always said this year that I have the best 5th grade class and that they do have good hearts.
I have been pretty discouraged this week, to the point that I have even thought about talking to the doctor about stopping chemo. But after my joys this last week, I am ready to go on again. I still need and want all your prayers and good thoughts.I do feel them in my times of doubt. I am so thankful for my faith in the Lord because that also helps keep me strong. I just keep reminding myself that He has promised that He wold never give us more than we could bear and that when one door closes, a window opens. We just have to believe and look deep inside ourselves for that open window.
It's a new week and labs will be Tuesday. Hopefully my counts will be higher and hopefully my protein will start going up. Angie found a chart for me listing the most efficient proteins so I am trying that. I appreciate all the suggestions I get from all of you. And mostly, I appreciate your love and support. I have the best support system anyone could ask for with all my family and friends.
Next, my mom had to go to a rehab hospital. She fell for the 2nd time in a month so that are giving her therapy to strengthen her body so that, hopefully, she will be able to walk without a walker.The frustrating part is that I can't go see her and I had tried calling her 3 or more times a day and couldn't get her. I finally found out yesterday that I was calling the wrong number! I had the last number wrong. So I did get to have a great conversation with her for Mother's Day.
Now for some of the better things that have happened. Chuck has been home since Thursday night and goes back to work tomorrow morning. Usually when he's home it is just for a day or 2 and there are so many people to see that I always feel like we don't get a lot of time for just the 2 of us. Well, this time we have. It's been wonderful to have him here. He went to Ella's soccer game with me, church with me, and then we spent some quality time seeing his mom for Mother's Day. His sister, 2 brother-in-laws, and our niece and nephew that just moved back from Hawaii were also there. Also, Josh, Angie and the girls came over. And of course we got to spend time with Jordan, Amity, and Randi. I got sweet phone conversations with Bailey, Cole, and Lindsay. They only have 9 days left of school and are looking forward to coming for a visit. I, too, am looking forward to that. I will truly miss having them for the whole summer like I usually do but a visit will be the next best thing!
I also got some sweet cards from my class, both get well and Teacher Appreciation. It helps to know that they really miss me like I miss them. Their little messages and emails and phone calls do a lot for my spirit. The fact that they care makes me feel like I've done something right with them. That helps when I am feeling like I let them down by being gone. I have always said this year that I have the best 5th grade class and that they do have good hearts.
I have been pretty discouraged this week, to the point that I have even thought about talking to the doctor about stopping chemo. But after my joys this last week, I am ready to go on again. I still need and want all your prayers and good thoughts.I do feel them in my times of doubt. I am so thankful for my faith in the Lord because that also helps keep me strong. I just keep reminding myself that He has promised that He wold never give us more than we could bear and that when one door closes, a window opens. We just have to believe and look deep inside ourselves for that open window.
It's a new week and labs will be Tuesday. Hopefully my counts will be higher and hopefully my protein will start going up. Angie found a chart for me listing the most efficient proteins so I am trying that. I appreciate all the suggestions I get from all of you. And mostly, I appreciate your love and support. I have the best support system anyone could ask for with all my family and friends.
Friday, May 4, 2012
May 4, 2012
It has been a strange round of chemo! I have had a lot of nausea the past 2 weeks. Other than that, I've been feeling well. Tuesday, May 1, was a very good day. I have gotten to spend more time with Randi, my granddaughter that is living here, than I usually do because I have felt better. She is a joy to have around because she can make me feel better just by her smiles and hugs!
Last weekend my sister and her family came to visit and I enjoyed that. My brother-in-law gave me a blessing which I am sure is why this week has been so good. A second sister also came over Saturday night. There is nothing like family to make you feel better! I did not hang out with the extended family (too tired) but I did get to see them for a while. I would have liked to have been there to see my grandkids playing with my sister's grandkids but I knew it would be too much for me. But it was a fun, heartwarming weekend.
Last weekend my sister and her family came to visit and I enjoyed that. My brother-in-law gave me a blessing which I am sure is why this week has been so good. A second sister also came over Saturday night. There is nothing like family to make you feel better! I did not hang out with the extended family (too tired) but I did get to see them for a while. I would have liked to have been there to see my grandkids playing with my sister's grandkids but I knew it would be too much for me. But it was a fun, heartwarming weekend.
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