June 12, 2012

The last few weeks have been rough.  My side effects have been a little worse but I really believe it is a combo of the chemo and the stress of my mom.  The lack of sleep probably hasn't helped, either.

Most of this blog will be about my mom.  She would have been 80 years old the 20th of this month.  It has been hard to make the decisions we have had to make but honoring her wishes made it a little easier.  The hospice we placed her in on Friday was beautiful and very peaceful.  The staff was excellent.  They gave my mom a spa day on Saturday.  Each room had a private courtyard outside.  My mom's courtyard had a wind chime and a humming bird feeder.  For those who don't know, those were 2 of my mom's favorite things in her own garden.

I have gained great strength from all of my friends who have posted that they have had to make these same decisions, some of them 10-20 years ago. That has helped me to realize that I have been lucky to have my mom for 60 years.  I have been remembering all the fun times we had as children, living on Gundry and how our mom used to play with us out on the front lawn during the summer.  We always wore a dress when traveling because you never knew what adventure we might come upon to explore.  I have probably seen more missions than most people.  We always participated in the wheels parade at Longfellow.  Mom was my Bluebird leader and always taught us to have fun.  I attribute my love of life to that.  I can't imagine the challenge of raising 5 daughters.

My dad is holding up pretty well.  I have been married 36 years and can't imagine life without Chuck so i really can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose your spouse of 61 years.  I have to say, in the hospital, we saw the tenderness between our parents.  They have been an excellent example to my sisters and I of what it takes to stay married.  Between all of us, we have over 150 years of marriage!  That's a lot in this time! 

Our entire family is grateful for all the love and support we have received over the last week and a half.  I am truly grateful for my sisters and the time we have been able to spend together during this time.  It has helped to be able to talk about our memories and fell each other's love an support.  I say all the time in my cancer blogs that i have the best, most supportive family.  I am truly blessed to be a part of the Parkins family.

My sisters had planned a surprise party for my mom's birthday on June 30th.  We will now celebrate her life in a different way on that day.  We had ordered a Mother's ring for her and were able to present it to her in the hospital.  The staff was gracious enough to turn their backs on more than 2 people in the room and cell phones in the room so we were able to do it all together and even get some pictures. Dad has now had the ring sized and will wear it. We are so grateful that we have our dad and that we can share more time with him.  I look forward to seeing many of my nieces and nephews and all of my sisters again at the end of the month.