This has been a roller coaster week. I spent the weekend trying to stay healthy enough to get my chemo treatment on Tuesday. When I saw the oncologist, my levels barely met the minimum to receive chemo but she did decide to proceed so I didn't have to skip another week. But it was extremely discouraging because I had worked so hard to stay healthy enough. My protein level is still dropping. It should be a 3. Last time it was 2.9 and this time it dropped again to 2.7. I am drinking protein shakes, making sure I eat at least some protein every meal, and eating at least meals a day. Sometimes, the 3 meals are hard to do! I'd been told that I might get to where everything tastes like metal and that does happen sometimes so nothing tastes good. We talked again about revising my doses or even taking out one of the meds but at this time, she left everything as is. The nausea has been extreme this week. I have had to take 3 different meds for it on some days. The third med makes me very shaky so I don't like to have to get that far.
My rock this week was from Ella. Josh, Angie, Ella, and Hannah came over to watch me unwrap the rock. Ella was hoping I'd pick hers. Her message said, "Remember all you need is hope." It was so sweet and cheered me up.
Another bright note this week was when I received a package from my sister-in-law, Dinah, from Hawaii. I have a favorite clothing line that you can only buy in Hawaii. She sent me a dress to lounge around in from that store. If you don't know, I love Hawaii (who wouldn't) and since she has moved there we have gone almost every year. So the dress also cheered me up! She's planning to move back to the mainland at the end of this year so I definitely want to try to go before she leaves.
I am missing my class right now and thinking of them as they get ready to do state testing next week. I am so grateful that one of my very best friends is their substitute because I know she has worked hard to help them continue on the scholarly path we started on in September. Thanks Tricia! You give me less to worry about!
The best part of this week is that I am 1/3 of the way through treatment! It doesn't sound near as bad when I say it that way! I am also looking forward to a visit from at least one and maybe two of my sisters this weekend. Life continues to be good and the Lord continues to bless me. I feel all of your prayers, love and support. Thank you!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
April 24, 2012
Well,, I thought this week was a lot better but that's not what my labs say. My protein is still going down and I don't see how that is possible. I am eating protein for 3 meals a day and drinking 2 protein shakes (with double protein powder). Now she wants me to try drinking a green juice every morning that doesn't sound to good. But I'll try it.The good new is that my count was barely high enough but I can do chemo tomorrow. So hopefully all will go well. At least I'm not completely fatigued this time. The next 3 days are usually easy for me so I hope they continue in that manner.
My kids did a really nice thing for me. They got a vase, each painted a rock (with Uncle Josh's help) and then wrote a reason I am doing the chemo.I guess on the other side of Chuck's there's a place for me to write a reason. As a do a session I get to open one rock (they're all wrapped now) and after I read it I have another vase to put it in. It's a great visual and it's nice to see the open rocks get fuller! Their reasons are pretty cheery, too!
Unfortunately, we missed seeing Kinsey & Madison this weekend because a fever kept coming and the going away. I haven't seen those 2 little ones in quite a while. Hopefully I'll be better on the next visit!
My kids did a really nice thing for me. They got a vase, each painted a rock (with Uncle Josh's help) and then wrote a reason I am doing the chemo.I guess on the other side of Chuck's there's a place for me to write a reason. As a do a session I get to open one rock (they're all wrapped now) and after I read it I have another vase to put it in. It's a great visual and it's nice to see the open rocks get fuller! Their reasons are pretty cheery, too!
Unfortunately, we missed seeing Kinsey & Madison this weekend because a fever kept coming and the going away. I haven't seen those 2 little ones in quite a while. Hopefully I'll be better on the next visit!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
April 18, 2012
This has been a good week so far. I have been stay8ing in on the weekends to avoid crowds (why shop when it's crowded when you can do it during the week in the morning?) I've found that if I do a couple of things in the morning and then just take it easy for the rest of the day it is helping. I've worked on eating,, even when I don't feel like it.
I want to thank everyone who has sent me comments about my blog. It has encouraged me to keep my friends and family updated and the comments also give me the support I need right now. One of my friends told me the cure is worse than the disease. I think I agree with that! I asked the doctor last week how we know it's working. She reminded me that my entire tumor was removed and this is to prevent any cancer cells that were trying to hang out from catching hold. So in the long run, it is worth it.
I want to thank everyone who has sent me comments about my blog. It has encouraged me to keep my friends and family updated and the comments also give me the support I need right now. One of my friends told me the cure is worse than the disease. I think I agree with that! I asked the doctor last week how we know it's working. She reminded me that my entire tumor was removed and this is to prevent any cancer cells that were trying to hang out from catching hold. So in the long run, it is worth it.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
April 14, 2012
This has been a great week! We had all of Chuck's sisters and their families and his mom over fo9r Easter dinner. Amity cooked the ham and twice baked potatoes (a huge hit with everyone!) and then everyone else brought the rest of the meal. The weather was gorgeous and we ate outside. Our new little great-niece, Raelyn, was delightful and it was fun to see how she's grown.
I met with Dr. Yap, my oncologist, on Tuesday. We went over how poorly my chemo treatments have been going and discussed different options.I tend to get neutropenia about 10 days after my treatment. This means I am anemic, have a very low white cell count, no appetite, and sometimes a fever. After reviewing everything and discussing the last week, Dr. Yap decided we would continue as planned this round as scheduled. I am working really hard to keep my count up by drinking protein shakes on top of my meals, being sure I get enough green leafy vegetables, not eating any raw vegetables or fruits, and staying away from any crowds. My protein count has also been low, and gets lower each treatment. I don't mind the protein shakes but sometimes it's just hard to eat enough to keep me healthy. I think I miss being able to eat salad the very most! If I get sick again, we will 1) cut my dose again, 2) drop one of the medications, or 3) cut the number of treatments.
Tuesday night I met with the support group had found. It is a really nice group of women and it was great to be able to just talk about everything. One of the women in the group has a friend who has the same cancer I have (the women in the group al have different kinds of cancer). She asked if she could give this woman my number. Of course I said yes and that woman called me the very next day. It was great to talk to her because her experience was very similar to mine. She has now been cancer free for 4 1/2 years. She did have to drop 2 rounds of chemo but the fact that she is still cancer free gives me hope.
Wednesday was another round. As of today, I have had no problems. I think am learning to recognize the signs my bod gives me more and so I know when to stop and rest.
Yesterday I met friends from Las Flores for lunch. It was so nice to see all of them and to catch up. Some of them brought their children (it's spring break) and it was really nice to see the children and how big they've grown since we all worked together 2 years ago. It rained most of the day and I actually enjoyed being out in the rain for a wile. I ran a few errands while I was out but then recognized my body had had enough and came home to nap.
Life is good. I believe God has a plan for me and that he is guiding me all the way. He has put so many new people in my life to help me with this journey and I am grateful for the new friends I have met. I have had so many offers of help from my Ramona family! I feel truly blessed. I appreciate the prayers and support I receive from all of you and I truly feel your love and support. It's what gets me through each day!
I met with Dr. Yap, my oncologist, on Tuesday. We went over how poorly my chemo treatments have been going and discussed different options.I tend to get neutropenia about 10 days after my treatment. This means I am anemic, have a very low white cell count, no appetite, and sometimes a fever. After reviewing everything and discussing the last week, Dr. Yap decided we would continue as planned this round as scheduled. I am working really hard to keep my count up by drinking protein shakes on top of my meals, being sure I get enough green leafy vegetables, not eating any raw vegetables or fruits, and staying away from any crowds. My protein count has also been low, and gets lower each treatment. I don't mind the protein shakes but sometimes it's just hard to eat enough to keep me healthy. I think I miss being able to eat salad the very most! If I get sick again, we will 1) cut my dose again, 2) drop one of the medications, or 3) cut the number of treatments.
Tuesday night I met with the support group had found. It is a really nice group of women and it was great to be able to just talk about everything. One of the women in the group has a friend who has the same cancer I have (the women in the group al have different kinds of cancer). She asked if she could give this woman my number. Of course I said yes and that woman called me the very next day. It was great to talk to her because her experience was very similar to mine. She has now been cancer free for 4 1/2 years. She did have to drop 2 rounds of chemo but the fact that she is still cancer free gives me hope.
Wednesday was another round. As of today, I have had no problems. I think am learning to recognize the signs my bod gives me more and so I know when to stop and rest.
Yesterday I met friends from Las Flores for lunch. It was so nice to see all of them and to catch up. Some of them brought their children (it's spring break) and it was really nice to see the children and how big they've grown since we all worked together 2 years ago. It rained most of the day and I actually enjoyed being out in the rain for a wile. I ran a few errands while I was out but then recognized my body had had enough and came home to nap.
Life is good. I believe God has a plan for me and that he is guiding me all the way. He has put so many new people in my life to help me with this journey and I am grateful for the new friends I have met. I have had so many offers of help from my Ramona family! I feel truly blessed. I appreciate the prayers and support I receive from all of you and I truly feel your love and support. It's what gets me through each day!
Saturday, April 7, 2012
April 6, 2012
I woke up this morning as if nothing had been wrong again. We usually camp Easter weekend with Angie's family at Lake Skinner but I decided to forgo the trip this year and just stay home. Unfortunately, Ella broke her wrist last night, skating, so I decided to take her a movie to watch and then went shopping with Amity and Randi. While we were at Old Navy, the young girl checking us out had a buzz. I commented that I liked her hair style. She said she had done it for her grandma who was now in remission. We went to lunch and Amity and Randi went home. I needed to get buttons for dre3sses I had made for the girls so I went out again.
Later, I was at Target, looking for a game Ella could take to Skinner to play (since she can't do much else right now). A woman came up to me and asked if I was at the end of my chemo. I replied that, no, I was just beginning and had just had to postpone my 3rd round. Now, I truly believe that God brings people into your life in mysterious ways when you need them. As this woman and I stood in the aisle talking, she asked me if I would be interested in attending a woman's support group for cancer patients and survivors. I had just been online looking for such a group! She leads a group here locally (she's a 12 year survivor). As we were exchanging information, she mentioned that she works for Bellflower Unified schools. I told her that I taught for Bellflower at Ramona. She is an instructional aide for special ed and works directly with one of my very good friends that is a special ed teacher at Foster. We also talked about all the other teachers I know from Foster. What a small world! Then she mentioned that I must know another woman in the group. It is our speech teacher from Ramona who has been out all year with breast cancer. And the best part is that the group meets this Tuesday night, right before my next chemo round!
Later, I was at Target, looking for a game Ella could take to Skinner to play (since she can't do much else right now). A woman came up to me and asked if I was at the end of my chemo. I replied that, no, I was just beginning and had just had to postpone my 3rd round. Now, I truly believe that God brings people into your life in mysterious ways when you need them. As this woman and I stood in the aisle talking, she asked me if I would be interested in attending a woman's support group for cancer patients and survivors. I had just been online looking for such a group! She leads a group here locally (she's a 12 year survivor). As we were exchanging information, she mentioned that she works for Bellflower Unified schools. I told her that I taught for Bellflower at Ramona. She is an instructional aide for special ed and works directly with one of my very good friends that is a special ed teacher at Foster. We also talked about all the other teachers I know from Foster. What a small world! Then she mentioned that I must know another woman in the group. It is our speech teacher from Ramona who has been out all year with breast cancer. And the best part is that the group meets this Tuesday night, right before my next chemo round!
March 22,, 2012
I guess I must have been pretty bad. While I was sleeping, the kids decided to call my doctor. The doctor told them to take me to urgent care immediately. When we got to urgent care, they sent me immediately to the ER. I was admitted with a fever and a very low white cell blood count. I had also had diarrhea for about a week and no amount of Immodium AD was helping.
This time, I had to have another unit of blood. I stayed in the hospital until April 4th. At this point, Chuck had been gone for 6 weeks. He was due to make a delivery in Paramount on April 2nd so we had decided that I would meet him out towards Palm Springs on the 1st, we would stay at a nice hotel and celebrate our anniversary a few days early because I would have the pump on the 5th, our actual anniversary. Because I was admitted, he drove home to be able to be with me. I thought I was going to get to go home on the 3rd but the doctor decided she wanted to keep me at least one more day. This meant that, again, my chemo round would be postponed. That was very discouraging to me because all I could see at the time is that the end was also prolonged.
Luckily, the doctor discharge me on the 4th and I got to spend our anniversary with Chuck before he headed out again on the 6th. Amity mad a delicious Hawaiian meal of Kaluha Pork, macaroni salad and rice. It was better than any meal we could have gone out for.
It was hard to say good bye to Chuck when we didn't get to spend that much time together. He spent his days off getting our taxes done, running all the errands we usually do together when he's home, and coming back and forth to spend time with me (even though I slept a lot of that time). But it was nice to have hime there, holding my hand.
This time, I had to have another unit of blood. I stayed in the hospital until April 4th. At this point, Chuck had been gone for 6 weeks. He was due to make a delivery in Paramount on April 2nd so we had decided that I would meet him out towards Palm Springs on the 1st, we would stay at a nice hotel and celebrate our anniversary a few days early because I would have the pump on the 5th, our actual anniversary. Because I was admitted, he drove home to be able to be with me. I thought I was going to get to go home on the 3rd but the doctor decided she wanted to keep me at least one more day. This meant that, again, my chemo round would be postponed. That was very discouraging to me because all I could see at the time is that the end was also prolonged.
Luckily, the doctor discharge me on the 4th and I got to spend our anniversary with Chuck before he headed out again on the 6th. Amity mad a delicious Hawaiian meal of Kaluha Pork, macaroni salad and rice. It was better than any meal we could have gone out for.
It was hard to say good bye to Chuck when we didn't get to spend that much time together. He spent his days off getting our taxes done, running all the errands we usually do together when he's home, and coming back and forth to spend time with me (even though I slept a lot of that time). But it was nice to have hime there, holding my hand.
March 21, 2012
My second round! Again, my side effects were minimal. But then again, on March 31, the fatigue set in again. I went to Ella's soccer game in La Mirada. When I got to the field, I could not get out of the car and walk to where she was playing. So I moved my car to where they had parked and slept in my car until the game was over so that Ella would know I was there. I must have looked pretty bad, because Angie offered to drive me home in my car and Josh would follow. I told them I would be ok and drove home. As soon as I got home, I went to bed and slept most of the day.
March 17, 2012
I spent the week either sleeping or crying. I couldn't stay awake for more than an hour or 2 at a time. Today I woke up as if nothing had been wrong! It was like night and day. Angie had planned to make corned beef and cabbage for dinner. Due to my fatigue all week,k, we decided to postpone the meal until the 18th. On Sunday, their family, Jordan's family and I all enjoyed a wonderful St. Patrick's day meal.
Another thing I forgot to mention earlier, Jessica had come to visit and help me the weekend of February 3. Because her intention was to help me, she did not bring her kids. She organized my scrapbook room so that I could scrap when I felt up to it. But Lindsay, in particular, had been very worried so Jessica decide she wanted to bring the kids to see me before chem started. So she returned again the weekend of the 17th. While the kids were here, we decided to shave my head. All of the grandkids took part and of course, we took pictures to scrapbook! It was a lot of fun and I could tell that the visit did a lot to relieve any fears the kids had.
Another thing I forgot to mention earlier, Jessica had come to visit and help me the weekend of February 3. Because her intention was to help me, she did not bring her kids. She organized my scrapbook room so that I could scrap when I felt up to it. But Lindsay, in particular, had been very worried so Jessica decide she wanted to bring the kids to see me before chem started. So she returned again the weekend of the 17th. While the kids were here, we decided to shave my head. All of the grandkids took part and of course, we took pictures to scrapbook! It was a lot of fun and I could tell that the visit did a lot to relieve any fears the kids had.
March 8, 2012
All has gone well up to this point. I was scheduled to go to Arizona today until March 13. All of a sudden, I began feeling overwhelmed and would cry at the drop of a hat. I decided to change my flight to the 9th and to come home on the 12th.
I got to spend the evening with just the grandkids while Jessica and Jason enjoyed a date night. We just went out to dinner and I was exhausted by the time we got home.
Saturday was the All-state band performance. I was so proud of Bailey and enjoyed our outing. We all went to dinner after and I couldn't eat much. I was also experiencing extreme fatigue. When we came home, I went to bed and slept all night. The next day, I had a difficult time staying awake. On Monday morning, I decided to move my flight even earlier in the day. I just wanted to be home in my own bed.
On Tuesday the 13th, I went in for my labs and met with Dr. Yap. My white blood count was too low to do chemo the next day. The next round would be put off for a week.
I got to spend the evening with just the grandkids while Jessica and Jason enjoyed a date night. We just went out to dinner and I was exhausted by the time we got home.
Saturday was the All-state band performance. I was so proud of Bailey and enjoyed our outing. We all went to dinner after and I couldn't eat much. I was also experiencing extreme fatigue. When we came home, I went to bed and slept all night. The next day, I had a difficult time staying awake. On Monday morning, I decided to move my flight even earlier in the day. I just wanted to be home in my own bed.
On Tuesday the 13th, I went in for my labs and met with Dr. Yap. My white blood count was too low to do chemo the next day. The next round would be put off for a week.
February 29, 2012
This was my first round. I went in to have 2 of the chemo meds. At the end of the session, a 3rd med was given and I wore a pump home to deliver this med over a 41 hour period. I then returned to the infusion lab to have the pump disconnected. It really was kind of interesting how perfectly they had this timed. As I was waiting for them to call me in for my appointment, the pump went off to indicate that the infusion was complete. With the port, everything was very simple. My side effects were very minimal. I had some slight nausea, but nothing the medications I had been prescribed did not control. I forgot to mention that Angie and I had also met with the RN who case manages oncology patients and had been told every possible side effect, how to control it, and when to call the doctor. She was very efficient and thorough.
In the meantime, a decision had been made that I needed to have someone at home with me. Jordan and Amity agreed to move in to help me through this process. And then, of course, I had Josh and Angie just a mile away and Ray and Brandi (my nephew and niece) down the street. At first I was against having the help in the home. I thought I could do it by myself. But when I heard the relief in Chuck's voice to know that someone would be there at all times while he was on the road, I relented. They moved in on March 1.
In the meantime, a decision had been made that I needed to have someone at home with me. Jordan and Amity agreed to move in to help me through this process. And then, of course, I had Josh and Angie just a mile away and Ray and Brandi (my nephew and niece) down the street. At first I was against having the help in the home. I thought I could do it by myself. But when I heard the relief in Chuck's voice to know that someone would be there at all times while he was on the road, I relented. They moved in on March 1.
I met with the oncologist, Dr. Yap, for the first time. Angie had volunteered to go with me to be a second set (and probably better prepared to listen) set of ears. Luckily, Chuck also happened to be home that day and was also able to go. I really liked Dr. Yap right away. We set up a treatment plan and she even worked it out that I would be able to go to Arizona in early March for Cole's birthday and B9iley's performance in All-state band. My first round of chemotherapy was scheduled for February 29. I was also scheduled to have a port put in on February 13. Now, one thing I haven't mentioned is that one of my very dearest friends was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last September. She had her port put in and died in October. For this reason, having a port scared me to death. But it was necessary for my treatment and so we proceeded as planned. The port was put in, and chemo began.
Surgery day is finally here. My sister, Pat, came to stay with me and to help me through the first week of recovery. The doctor was able to do a resection by removing about 18 inches of the colon. The tumor had gone through the wall of the colon but no other organs were affected. He also took out 28 lymph nodes and so we waited for the pathology reports. In the meantime, I began the recovery from the surgery, itself. When pathology reports came in, 9 of the lymph nodes were affected. This meant definite chemotherapy.
My first indication that anything was wrong was in the beginning of 2011. I was having problems with what I (and my doctor) thought was constipation. My symptoms began getting a little worse in October. I compared some of my issues with a friend who had gone through colitis. When I went to the doctor in November, she thought that was a possibility but no for sure diagnosis at this time.
On Wednesday, November 9, 2011 my journey began in earnest. I had been having stomach pain since late October. I called before school to make a doctor's appointment for that afternoon. I went to school, did my 8:00 duty, and realized there was no way I could teach that day. Luckily, there was an extra sub on campus so I was able to leave right away, rather than waiting for a sub to show up. When I got to my car, I called and changed my appointment to the first one available that morning. When I saw the doctor, she thought I might have some kind of gastrointestinal infection. She ordered lab work, gave me a prescription and I went home and slept.
About 9:00 that night I was also vomiting and I noticed blood in my stool. I called Josh and Angie and Angie came and took me to ER. The ER doctor decided to admit me. Many tests were run but the most pressing issue was that I seemed to have some internal bleeding somewhere. I was, at this time, still on coumadin from the blood clot I had in August, 2010. The first thing was to get me off the coumadin. I was anemic due to the blood loss and needed a transfusion. I received 3 units of blood and 2 units of platelets to flush the coumadin from my system. I remained in the hospital for 2 days and many tests were run with nothing definite being found.
On December 8th, I had a follow-up appointment with the GI doctor. He was planning to have me do a procedure that had me swallow a capsule with a small camera in it. I would remain at Kaiser all day while a computer would read the camera as it traveled through my digestive system. As we were talking, the doctor asked me several questions and then told me that even though I had had a clean, routine colonoscopy in August, 2009, he thought he should do another colonoscopy. I replied that I had a couple of weeks off in a couple of weeks. He said he didn't think we should wait that long and asked if I could come in the next day. Luckily, Jordan was staying at my house, doing some work for us, and was available to take me.
We went in the next morning. After the procedure, Dr. Chui showed me the pictures and showed me the tumor. It seemed to be confined to the colon but a CT scan was schedule to be sure and I was schedule to meet with the surgeon. The CT scan showed that it had not spread to the liver (the next place it would go) but that there looked like some lymph nodes might be affected.I have to say, he told me from that very day that chemotherapy was almost positively in my future.
Because this was over the holidays, surgery could not be scheduled until January 27, 2012. It seemed so far away and the wait was hard to bear.
On Wednesday, November 9, 2011 my journey began in earnest. I had been having stomach pain since late October. I called before school to make a doctor's appointment for that afternoon. I went to school, did my 8:00 duty, and realized there was no way I could teach that day. Luckily, there was an extra sub on campus so I was able to leave right away, rather than waiting for a sub to show up. When I got to my car, I called and changed my appointment to the first one available that morning. When I saw the doctor, she thought I might have some kind of gastrointestinal infection. She ordered lab work, gave me a prescription and I went home and slept.
About 9:00 that night I was also vomiting and I noticed blood in my stool. I called Josh and Angie and Angie came and took me to ER. The ER doctor decided to admit me. Many tests were run but the most pressing issue was that I seemed to have some internal bleeding somewhere. I was, at this time, still on coumadin from the blood clot I had in August, 2010. The first thing was to get me off the coumadin. I was anemic due to the blood loss and needed a transfusion. I received 3 units of blood and 2 units of platelets to flush the coumadin from my system. I remained in the hospital for 2 days and many tests were run with nothing definite being found.
On December 8th, I had a follow-up appointment with the GI doctor. He was planning to have me do a procedure that had me swallow a capsule with a small camera in it. I would remain at Kaiser all day while a computer would read the camera as it traveled through my digestive system. As we were talking, the doctor asked me several questions and then told me that even though I had had a clean, routine colonoscopy in August, 2009, he thought he should do another colonoscopy. I replied that I had a couple of weeks off in a couple of weeks. He said he didn't think we should wait that long and asked if I could come in the next day. Luckily, Jordan was staying at my house, doing some work for us, and was available to take me.
We went in the next morning. After the procedure, Dr. Chui showed me the pictures and showed me the tumor. It seemed to be confined to the colon but a CT scan was schedule to be sure and I was schedule to meet with the surgeon. The CT scan showed that it had not spread to the liver (the next place it would go) but that there looked like some lymph nodes might be affected.I have to say, he told me from that very day that chemotherapy was almost positively in my future.
Because this was over the holidays, surgery could not be scheduled until January 27, 2012. It seemed so far away and the wait was hard to bear.
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